Three Rules for Being the Other Man

"He is lucky to be her other man"

“He is lucky to be her other man”


There’s a lot of material out there that follows how to keep a mistress. This mostly overlooks the fact that sometimes it’s great to be a housewife’s dirty little secret. You get all the perks. She thinks about you, you’re mostly around for sex, and you get a dangerous little thrill for sneaking in behind some other guy’s back. If you want your piece on the side to stay secret, though, you need to follow these three basic rules.

Time Management Is Key

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When you’re hooking up with a woman who is married, you want to have the illusion of danger but not actual danger itself. If you want to keep your fling on the down low you need to be mindful of the time that you’re spending with this woman. It doesn’t pay to get relaxed and assume that she’s going to be vigilant. If you do your job right, she’s going to be way too lazy to keep track of things like when her husband is going to be home.

On the plus side, this means that you can streamline your time with her. In the interest of safety, you can move things quickly to the bedroom, take your time, and then be on your way just in case her husband gets home early. You don’t have to be hung up on romance. Just make her happy and get on with your day.

Don’t Kiss and Tell

Locker rooms can get a little difficult. Everyone else gets to brag about their conquests, so why shouldn’t you open your mouth? Because an affair is different than a regular hookup. Your buddies might not care if you bagged a woman from the bar, but tell them that you’re banging a married woman and all of a sudden they’re going to have questions. And the attention can be interesting at first, but this is prime time level gossip. If you start spreading this around, it’s going to travel farther than you might think. Even if you met the woman you’re with online and she and her social circles seem to have no connection to you someone could go digging. It’s just not smart to spread this around. If you absolutely have to tell someone, make sure that the guy doesn’t have a girlfriend. She’d hear about it, and the more women know the farther the gossip will spread.

No Permanent Gifts

"Don't give her a gift about which her husband can come to know"

“Don’t give her a gift about which her husband can come to know”


Think it could be clever to give her a little necklace and see if her husband notices? It’s not. You don’t want to get her into hot water. So obviously, jewelry is out. And so are most other romantic gifts. Don’t give her something that she’s supposed to keep forever. If you do want to treat her to a little something special, make it something that a man would believe she bought for herself. Fancy soaps, pretty candles. That kind of simple thing. Or a refill on her perfume.

There are some risks to being the other man, but if you play your cards right the rewards are worth it.

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