When you want to find an easy fling it seems easy. Pick up a woman, take her out a few times, have sex, and call her when you want to do it again. But practice is far from theory. Once you’ve gotten to know each other putting on the breaks isn’t as easy as you would have thought. Feelings start to ruin everything. It’s not even completely on her side. You’ll start to get them too. But you have to do what you can to keep from getting attached. It’s not even a little bit easy and it’s going to suck, but if you really don’t want to dive head first into a relationship, you’re going to have to slow it down.
Keep Texting Minimal
You’ve got to keep texting to a minimal. The same goes for calling her. While it might be fun to flirt, the more you do it and keep in contact with her the stronger your bond will be. It’s going to feel good, but it’s also going to plummet you off the cliff. Keep the phone as a line between the two of you to set up booty calls (dates just for sex) and planning. If you are going to use the phone for anything, use it for sex. Sending dirty text messages and naked pictures of yourself is going to make the message loud and clear: “I’m in this for the sex.” There won’t be any confusion or texting pillow talk when all you send her is your dick.
Keep Your Guard Up
Pillow talk is dangerous. The moments after sex where you just want to hold her naked body close to yours and talk in the dark will feel like the best moment to divulge your secrets. If you were looking to make her your girlfriend then they would be. But being a bachelor doesn’t lend itself well to giving away your life story. Keep what you prize guarded. Telling her more intimate details about yourself is going to; again, make a stronger bond between the two of you. That’s going to be harder to break than if she was just a fling.
Keep Her Real
One of the biggest ways that we set ourselves up to fail when it comes to being with a new person is fantasizing about them. We think of all of the amazing trips we could take together and what the future will hold. As soon as you’ve got these ideas swirling around in your head you’re going to become more attached to them than you are to the person they’re about. That’s because it’s your ideal situation in life. You want to be forever engaged and never worry about marriage or kids. You think of her as being the woman to help you with that. Even if she wants the exact opposite you’re still going to feel closer to her because of what you pictured your lives together as. It’s not easy to control your mind, but you’ve got to. Keep the real her in your head.