Asking for an open relationship is hard in this monogamous culture. Women like to believe the rom-com story of the one person who can be your one and only. But in real life, that’s not always true. People just settle for who they can keep rather than seeking fulfillment in all areas of their life. If you want to ask your lady for an open relationship, here’s how to do it so that she doesn’t just hear “I want to sleep with other women, but I don’t want you to be mad about it.”
Pick Your Moment
You should only ask her this if the two of you are happy together, but it’s not a particularly intimate moment. If you’re looking deeply into her eyes under the stars, she’s only going to be thinking about you and her. Maybe go for a walk after lunch one day and just bring it up. If she seems like she’s not going to even listen to you, just back off. You can’t rush this.
Sell the Philosophy Angle
If you really want to get her to agree to this, you have to make her see that this is more than just sex. You’ll have to open her eyes to the theories behind polyamory as a life style. That jealousy is toxic to happiness, and that expecting one person to bear the burden of being someone else’s whole life just isn’t healthy. Make this deep and philosophical. Make it seem like you’re a deep guy with a lot on your mind and soul. You want to make this as not sleazy as possible, because she’s hyper sensitive to the idea that you might be “cheating.”
Make it clear that this would be as open as she wants to be. If she wants to know who you go out with, all right. If she’d rather not, then that’s fine too. You don’t want to hurt her, you just want her to be as happy and fulfilled as possible.
Let Her Know It Works Both Ways
If you want to have any sort of luck getting her to let you see other women you have to be willing to let it go both ways. If you want an open relationship you have to decide you’re okay with her seeing other guys. This is where a lot of guys trip up. They’re all over the idea of scoring with the other hot chicks they know, but they get bent out of shape if their lady sees another guy. If you can’t handle the idea of her with someone else, then monogamy is the price you have to pay to keep her by your side and no one else’s.
An open relationship is every guy’s dream. Where they go wrong is picking a bad place and time to ask their woman, or making it seem like it’s all about them getting some strange and not about a philosophy of free love. There are no strings to tie someone down in an open relationship.