Hooking Up with a Boring Woman (But At Least She’s Hot)

"You need someone's help to get out of this boring date"

“You need someone’s help to get out of this boring date”


Sometimes you might end up living in a place where the pickings are pretty slim. The women might be unattractive, rude, or sleep around. Consider yourself lucky. Some men have to sink so low as to hook up with a boring woman. It doesn’t sound like the worst thing when you say it out loud, but think about it. When you’re having a fling with someone whose personality is as colorful as white bread you’re going to get bored along with her really quickly. The only saving grace she’s got is that she’s sexy. So how can you deal?

Accept It

Having sex with a boring woman and expecting her to scream like a banshee is just stupid. She’s most likely going to become a dead fish (not the squirming kind, the kind that’s been rotting in the boat). She’ll lay there and take what you’ve got, but not really do much in turn. Her bouncing bosom might be enough to quell your eyes, but that’s about all that’s going to happen on her end.

What You Can Do About It

"Avoid going on real dates with her"

“Avoid going on real dates with her”


You might be tempted to actually put a lot of effort in for a while. Maybe your amazing dick will be what breaks her boring shell. But most likely that’s just not so (unless your dick is in fact magical). So instead just screw it. Literally, go to town on her but for your own benefit. If she’s not going to try to do anything to get you off then why should you have to? Hump to your heart’s content and get off in whatever way feels the best to you. So long as you’re doing it in a consensual way, then it doesn’t matter what she thinks. Maybe the jolt of not giving a fuck will wake her up next time you’re in bed together.

Avoid Talking

Obviously a boring person doesn’t have a lot of interesting things to say. It’s not their fault, but weather talk just doesn’t do it when you’re with someone you’re supposed to be connecting with. Boring comes in a lot of flavors. There’s the science boring (she’s really academic), the one track mind boring (she sure loves shoes), and even the boring boring (she really just doesn’t have a strong personality). These are just a few of the types you might run into.

What You Can Do About It

Just don’t talk to her when you don’t have to. It’s as easy as that. Texting or calling her for a hook-up is totally fine, but having a normal conversation just to be nice might be enough to make you go insane. Instead just have her over, get it on, and make some small talk as she’s on her way out of the door. You won’t be being an asshole because you’re still making polite conversation, but you won’t have to suffer hearing any more about the solar system or whatever it is that she’s interested in.

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